Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Prescription Drugs Infecting People Category: Blogging I was taking 4 different doctor prescribed medications. In the beginning it seemed like the answer to all my problems even my small bladder but in the end it had me completly numb to any and all emotions doing things I would have never dreamed of. I stole from my family. I stole from stores. I was a compulsive liar keeping every detail of my day to day life secret. I became a caretaker to my son instead of his mother. I looked for trouble because I became bored with regular life. The only thing that saved me was jail. The only thing that saved me was my worst fear and I had to face it and God met me there. God was always there watching and waiting for me no matter how far into sin I got. I think he put me in jail to save my life. I was a ticking time bomb always on the verge of explosion. I was never suicidal but if I ran my head into a wall I wouldn't have been afraid of it or cared. There was no inner thoughts besides to keep my hands busy ... and when they became idle the devils work became even more intruiging to me. Stealing became something to do for fun to keep me from being bored. It made me feel smart, it made me feel powerful like I could have anything I wanted with no boundries or rules. I was so detached from any morals or personal feelings that I was on the way to losing my son. I had already lost everything else. Thank you Lord for your grace and mercy that today I am alive and am able to be apart of my son's life. Thankfully I am off the drugs, and working towards regathering myself and rebuilding all the relationships that I ruined. Pray for me as I face all that I deserve for all that I am guilty of.