Sunday, January 25, 2009

I figured it out a little I was so confused at how I could get out of jail and still want to sin. Still want to steal. I thought that I had the answer to truth and that in itself would solve all its problems. The truth is daily prayer was needed .... daily prayer is needed to keep me connected. And the reason I sin is because I am a sinner and I will never truly be perfect or clean. This is how the world works that we live in not something I have chosen. This is a reason to strive daily that will give me something to do besides sit and wait, and maybe now I can work on quieting my mind so that I can experience the world around me instead of just experiences myself and what is going on in my head. To sit quietly and listen is an amazing experience in itself. Anyone that knows me knows that if it is quiet I am talking to ease the silence, but now I am learning to be quiet. Everything that comes out of my mouth is foul or hurtful anyways.... I need to ease up on my own doses of truth I give out and just merely exist instead of trying to be noticed for existing.